perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Randomize
