I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
