Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
