Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
