Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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