Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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