I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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