But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
