I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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