This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
