just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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