Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
