At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
