who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
