Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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