Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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