remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am puke
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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