You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
