'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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