The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
