he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
