im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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