Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I would fuck him just for his dog
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
