hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
