so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
