you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
