You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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