He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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