I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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