I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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