Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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