My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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