when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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