I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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