I love black thongs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
