NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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