return my video game
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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