Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities