Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food

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  (207): watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food http://tfl.nu/6rf4
  Replies (32) Good night (869) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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  (630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv
  Replies (33) Good night (2920) Bad night (646)
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  (949): View more from California

  he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

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  (949): he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment http://tfl.nu/ipb9
  Replies (18) Good night (3545) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

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  (952): He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened. http://tfl.nu/wacr
  Replies (28) Good night (2782) Bad night (1893) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.

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  (651): You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping. http://tfl.nu/k03m
  Replies (12) Good night (672) Bad night (7105) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles

  (205): View more from Alabama

  for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today

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  (281): Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles (205): for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today http://tfl.nu/m9xp
  Replies (9) Good night (460) Bad night (3025)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...

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  (210): I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling... http://tfl.nu/2wcp
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (4846) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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  (219): So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on. http://tfl.nu/rrpe
  Replies (9) Good night (4048) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

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  (716): One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. http://tfl.nu/aaag
  Replies (16) Good night (5203) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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  (270): It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj. http://tfl.nu/3mtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4763) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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  (914): friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day http://tfl.nu/igko
  Replies (5) Good night (2181) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (14) Good night (1539) Bad night (777)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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  (304): ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP http://tfl.nu/bbs8
  Replies (6) Good night (1966) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (288) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

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  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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