Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex