please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
