Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
