How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
