I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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