at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
