It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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