it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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