I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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