he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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