I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
