Non-Jews are for practice
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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