i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
