im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think your dad took our porno
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
