we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
