sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
