like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
