We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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