it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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