Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
