did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
