You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
