i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
