This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
